I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
