Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
