Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
