just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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