i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
