This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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