hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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