Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
someone owes me an orgasm
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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