I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
