it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize