At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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