All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
