so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
