Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
