This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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