sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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