If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
