I have demons in me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
