Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize