Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
