i can't believe i had my finger in that
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
