And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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