did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
