She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
