Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish you could order shots online.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
