38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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