I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize