What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
