do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
