Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
