Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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