everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize