do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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