You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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