She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
