this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize