half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
