so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize