well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My liver just had a heart attack.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
