Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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