Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
