At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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