Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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