At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
