I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize