Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
did i walk over a car last night?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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