Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
