I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He kissed a someone with a penis
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
