My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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