Porn is love you can see.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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