Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
