Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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