Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
