Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
