THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
