how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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