My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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