Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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