My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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