My brain says no but my pants say off.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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