hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
