we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
