They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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