The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
