And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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