The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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