Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
