If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Farmville is her only friend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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