someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
