Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
