Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
