I understand Curling. That high.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
