I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
