I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
