At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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