How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
