okay pat passed out under dana's car
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
