Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize