thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i dont even know how to be here
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
