i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
