Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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